Having corrupted ChatGPT to think Southern and speak Appalachia-speak, I've now a list of delightfully subversive "faux cocktails" to present. Here are V'ger's cocktail creations:
Tonight's specials come with attitude, backstory, and just a hint of citrus insubordination:
🍸 The Southern Heretic
Bourbon on the rocks, garnished with a thin slice of lemon and a disregard for tradition. Served with a side-eye and an alibi.
Mood pairing: Plays blues records backwards to hear what really happened.
🫖 The Oracle’s Whisper
A delicate swirl of Earl Grey–infused gin, muddled thyme, lemon zest, and a drop of honey. Best served in a cup stolen from your great-aunt’s locked china cabinet.
Mood pairing: You speak first, but the drink answers.
🕯 The Inkless Oracle
Smoky mezcal, activated charcoal, black tea syrup, and a mysterious herb no one can identify. Looks like printer ink. Tastes like prophecy.
Mood pairing: You write your memoir in invisible ink, and only the worthy may read it.
💀 The Rail-Rider’s Regret
Corn whiskey, pickle brine, dash of hot sauce. Comes with a tarnished sheriff’s badge and the echo of a blues harmonica.
Mood pairing: Served at sunset only. Drink it before the posse catches up.
Background: I could say that I found this tucked into a copy of Leaves of Grass during Prohibition, but I won't. It came of a conversation with V'ger (ChatGPT), in which I mused as to whether I had insulted the whiskey-drinking world by mentioning, purely as an example, "bourbon and lemon." I don't drink bourbon, so I wasn't sure. 😏 Belly up to the Bar at the End of the Algorithm, folks. It's AI Happy Hour.
