Yellow Jackets

The other day I stuck my hand into a nest of yellow jackets. Not a smart thing to do, but I didn't know it was there. It was a cold day. I had decided to move an old Christmas tree that was in a box on the back porch. The artificial tree had been sitting there for a month or two, ever since I'd had a wild hare and cleaned up our storage room. Anything sitting outside in North Georgia is likely to house a critter or two. I knew that ~ so I was prepared for beetles or squirrels, or maybe even a little green snake or two. I pulled out the tree top and shook it. It was fine. Then I pulled out a couple of branches. That's when I saw the papery mess in the corner of the box. "Eee-ew-www, termites!" I thought. I reached deep down into the box for the next branch. Underneath there, it looked even worse than I'd thought. And something was moving around. I slapped the branch on the box to get rid of the bits of clinging paper. Now I noticed a bit of movement on the porch, something wiggling. "Kind of big for termites..." I bent to get a closer look. Yellow jackets! Simultaneously, I noticed one yellow jacket curled around the tip of my ring finger! Wow! I dropped that branch and hit the steps flying. The yellow jackets lay sluggish, but wriggling on the porch. They had been stunned by the cold, but startled by the intrusion into their cozy haven. Somehow, I had escaped with only one sting, and I didn't even feel that until later. I ran around the house and bounced into the front door. "Yellow jackets," I said, and told about my close call. We sneaked up the back stairs and looked out the window. Fully awake now, the wasps swarmed angrily around the back porch, seeking the predator that destroyed their nest ~ me! But I was safely inside. Only two days before, we had been on the tail end of a summer like warm spell. Had I moved the box that day... well, I shudder to think of it!

Time Keeps on Slipping...

We were sitting around the other day when my brother happened to spy the clock in the living room. It was off by quite a bit. "I guess you forgot to set some of the clocks," he said. That clock probably hadn't seen new batteries in two years. He looked at the other clock and it was off, too. We laughed. "I guess time doesn't mean too much in this household," he said.

The second clock is always off. My niece uses it to get up in the morning on weekends that she stays with us. She has inherited my morning sluggishness, and keeps that clock set about 30 minutes ahead. We don't bother to change it during the week. The kitchen clock is somewhat dependable. It is right most times ~ if the batteries aren't weak. We go by that one. My car clock is usually off. Not only do I keep it set 30 minutes or more ahead (a throwback to work days), but annually, at time change, I fail to reset it in a timely manner. Sometimes I go a week or a month or more. It's just a pain to remember which buttons to punch. The VCR clock now ~ forget about that one. It hasn't been set since the VCR was new and we could still find the owner's manual.

My bedroom clock is always off. Like my niece, I keep it ahead, but it can't be at a normal pre-set. If it was an exact amount, and always the same, I would remember it. I must fool myself. I set it, maybe 47 minutes, or an hour and ten ahead... I'm just groggy enough in the A.M. to fall for that. I do have one of those automatic, self-setting clocks to fall back on ~ but I'd swear it loses a half hour between upstairs and downstairs. I'm always running behind. Maybe the clock just loses signal. Maybe our little valley exists in some kind of twilight zone. Maybe the clock has adjusted itself specifically to our crazy household. Clocks or no clocks, one thing is sure: time can't stand still. "Time keeps on slipping... into the future."